Deceit – Why there is a 99% chance that you are deceitful.
“Man is always deceitful, by our humanity we choose not to hurt someone with the truth, we protect those we love - sometimes with lack of information”
What is Deceit?
Deception or falsehood is an act or statement which misleads, hides the truth , or promotes a belief, concept, or idea that is not true. It is often done for personal gain or advantage.
Two different Paths in a Jungle both of which might not be what it seems it is – Image by Susanne Shwarz from Unsplash
Most people expect their conversations with their close friends, family members and other strangers to be frank and honest. We feel like we are entitled to know about everything, even minute details. This enables there to trust in the other one you are talking to. But, even though we think we are being honest with a person or that person is being extremely sincere with you; it might not be the case.
We are deceptive because greed, jealousy, manipulation, race to gain power, etc are human traits and we strive towards excellence. This is just a tool for our journey.
Forms of Deception
There are several different forms of deception (aka Lying)
Harmless White Lies
People often create stories and false narratives to trick someone into believing something is true. It is often accompanied by hiding real stories, bending and modifying the truth, etc. It is often used to get a new client for your business, save yourself in school from punishment, convincing your friend why you didn’t come for the movie, etc.
This is often for personal benefit and getting short term gains. We must make sure, that our wrong-doings do not harm the other person and stress him/her emotionally.
We often lie about anything to ourselves. If we have not achieved our own targets that we set, we feel depressed and to motivate us we encourage ourselves by saying things like – it was COVID-19, I couldn’t do this well due to X issue, etc.
This is also done by people around you, who try to boost your motivation when you are saddened by an event, due to your own mistake.
While lying to oneself is generally perceived as cheating, and not good for you, some may argue that certain kinds of self-deception—like believing one can accomplish a difficult goal, can have big positive effects on one’s life.
Lying to help others
This is the most abstract form of deception. We often don’t say the fact or hide the reason for doing something, even to our friends and close family members. This is done for their own safety. Sometimes, we feel telling about a thing will harm others and hence we don’t do it.
People fear the consequences that might arise otherwise.
Deception is just not only about verbal lying, but it may also be done via actions, thoughts etc.
You might not have realised but we are often deceitful to protect someone or try not to hurt their feelings with the truth. It is a human trait to misguide others for our own benefit or to protect others.
We need to think, do we want to admit and take responsibility for the mistake or lie and easily get out of the sticky situation.
It sometimes also happens that your close friend, which you think you are bonded with and can say anything to, may get downhearted because you said something to him/her. There should be a human connection that is not based on what you say to each other but just be there.
It is also a characteristic of human nature; we always seek peace, but the method we use to get peace, is it moral?
If there are any terrorist attacks, we kill them for supposed global peace, but is it real peace, if you gained it clearly unethically?
We might feel that we are perfect and do not deceive anyone and are frank with everyone. But we need to introspect and figure out our own moral stance on the fact: will you be honest with friends and family (knowing its consequences) or “deceive” them and let life go on.
Will you be able to own up to show your stance on your moral values?